Smile - and the whole world smiles with you
- Matt Bates
- Jan 3, 2021
- 5 min read
Sorry folks time to get a little bit serious. 2018 was not a good year for us. We had the trip to Vegas to look forward to and it would just be Jane and myself. Dad had caught the cruising bug so they were off on a big boat. Things that year were going to come to a head in a big way and change a lot of things for both Jane and myself.
We were watching more Vegas YouTube vlogs, still playing the apps and we decided to stay Downtown at Four Queens again. Then one day Jane suggested something that would become the catalyst for one heck of a journey.
I was moaning (for a change) saying how you can only take so many photos of the Bellagio Fountains when Jane said;
"Why don't you Vlog the trip like they do on YouTube?"
"Nah, who's gonna wanna watch it?"
"Doesn't matter does it?"
I guess it didn't matter, I already had a YouTube channel with a few videos on so a few more wouldn't harm and like Jane said, it'd be nice for the family to see and for us to look back on. I had the camera, I'd filmed stuff before just not in the form of a Vlog and I'd definitely not directly spoken to the camera. Screw it, I may as well, got nothing to lose.
No copy of the itinerary this time I'm afraid but as you can guess there was a lot on there.
The first night we met up with my cousin Paul, the chap who told us about MyVegas and Peppermill. It was the last night for him and his wife Lynne so we went to El Cortez. Slotlady (https://youtube.com/c/SlotLady) was there vlogging, Jane and I didn't know who she was at the time but Paul and Lynne pointed her out. I did a bit of Vlogging but was too nervous to do much.
As the days went on I filmed more and the more I filmed the more mistakes I made. You could definitely not accuse me of being a natural in front of the camera. We went back to a lot of places from previous trips and new places like the Donut bar and the Millennium Fan Bar (it was actually open this time) were filmed too.
You can see from the vlogs I do relax more as the week goes on but it was still a struggle to not forget everything or get tongue tied. My brain and mouth divorced each other years ago so getting them to cooperate is very difficult.
Yet again the trip was great fun, we got to be involved in a Slot Tournament at the Plaza, something I always wanted to do after I found out I liked Vegas and then there was the Heart Attack Grill Part 2.
This time I was sober and ordered a smaller burger - a double bypass. Jane decided to have one too. Service was great and fun as always with the waitress warming the wooden paddle on Jane's arm for when she didn't finish. It's a good job she did as the lightweight failed to finish. Sadly though, the lightweight was me. I'm sure the bruise still hasn't gone.
It was the last day, they're never fun but this was different. Maybe it was the realisation we had to go back to reality and carry on facing 2018, maybe I was just tired. I was tired but not in the way I thought. We were in the room and I just burst into tears, Jane asked what was up, I couldn't answer. After a few minutes I calmed down, Jane knew what was up.
"You need help"
"Thanks"
"No, you need to see someone when we get back"
Back in the UK I actually took Jane's advice and went to see my doctor….
I rarely listen to anyone, I definitely wasn't listening to my body and mind, I couldn't have anxiety and depression, I've only cried once. Yeah it's been a hard year but I'm fine, honestly I'm fine. I was smiling on the vlogs, look. Smiling and laughing!
Why have I gone all serious and moved away from the light-hearted tone of my blogs? Here's why,.
The following weeks were very difficult, amongst many things discussed it was suggested I find and concentrate on something positive, something that makes me happy. Whatever could that be? I filmed some stuff in Vegas, I could get that edited and turned into a Vlog like Jane had suggested…..
Then Jane said ;
"You need a proper channel with a proper name"
"I guess so……"
And there it was
The Black Country Vlogger
(who never vlogs about the Black Country as my mate Mark points out) was created.
The weeks went by and over time I worked on and got the vlogs edited. They were initially just going to be for the family to watch but Jane had convinced me to do a proper channel. As the vlogs were posted people started watching. Subscribers slowly went up and I shared them on Facebook and Twitter.
One day Matt Bridger liked one of the posts of my Vlog and then proceeded to recommend people to watch my vlogs. This was a complete surprise and yes I'd name dropped him in a Vlog, the same Vlog where I called Heidi, Helga so it wasn't without context. The number of subscribers and nice comments escalated and to be honest it was nice to see people enjoyed watching me trying to Vlog. Who'd have thought my bloopers would have been a highlight of the series.
From the darkness of 2018 came a ray of light in 2019. I'd become a Vlogger, admittedly a small one but who cares. I'd taught myself how to edit videos, add special effects, transitions etc. and it seemed my niche was the bloopers. I'm a very self deprecating person and really don't have a problem sharing with the world my mistakes. May as well take what some may see as a weakness and turn it into a strength. As 2019 would show me, social media can actually be a good, supportive thing where people with the same interests can chat together and share memories.
We booked Vegas for 2019, another positive thing to focus on and 2019 itself had a nice surprise of its own lined up.
Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety isn't something that everyone is comfortable talking about and so many people continue to struggle, more so now than ever. It's not a weakness and there is nothing wrong with asking for help. It's important I shared this part of the journey as without it there probably wouldn't be any Black Country Vlogger and hopefully it shows that in what seems the darkest of times, something good can come from it.
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